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15 things you never knew about St David, patron saint of Wales

We all know and love St David as the cwtchy patron saint of our lovely country. But did you know that he once held the world record for jumping over 17 double decker buses on a motorbike before Evil Kenevil showed up? Ah, well there you are. Here are some more facts about the man they (the really Welshy ones) called Dewi Sant.

1. St David was born in Bedlinog in 1066. Dave was a heavy baby, weighing in a 3 stone 4lbs at birth. His mother Enog was as surprised as everyone else when she suddenly gave birth in church one Sunday morning. As she later told friends and family, ‘I was pushing a stubborn fart out and honestly thought I’d followed through.’
2. He was baptised Colin Justin Jones but changed his first name to Saint after watching The Saint on telly.
3. David was a popular child because he owned lots of marbles. He won these after playing lots of other kids and a local championship. He was also good at the game of conkers until one swung round and hit him in the eye. David lost the sight in the eye until he was kicked by a horse, when he regained full 20/20 vision.
4. David attended a nearby school but dropped out at the age of 13 because he found it boring. David later said that he should have stayed and done his exams like a good boy.
5. His first job was gutting fish in a local chip shop. He earned £2 an hour and worked 5.30-10.30, Monday to Fridays and on Saturday afternoons.
6. He first had the calling to join the ministry after falling down a well. He fell 300ft to the bottom but was rescued by a passing otter. David was convinced that it was a sign of God.
7. He joined his local church and became ordained as a deacon at the age of 23. He said ‘it was either that or join the Navy and go fighting Vikings but I didn’t fancy that much.’
8. After seven years of preaching non-stop, a dove landed on his shoulder. David believed that it was another sign from God and decided to become a saint. He attended St. Saints School of Saints and graduated as a saint three years later.
9. After watching an episode of Hi-Di-Hi, David took a fancy to Welsh actress Ruth Madoc. He wrote her lots of fan mail, to which she never replied. As a way of attracting her attention, David decided to become the patron saint of Wales. Ruth dated him for 3 weeks but eventually ditched him because he had smelly feet.
10. After the separation, David went to live in the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights. It wasn’t by choice – he’d got lost trying to make his way home from the local pub after drowning his sorrows.
11. St David opened a shopping centre in the capital city of Wales which opened in 1982. He named it after himself, as he did with the second phase build in 2009. As outright owner, he gets free parking after 5pm.
12. St David once held the world record for jumping over 17 double decker buses on a motorbike before Evil Kenevil showed up on the scene. St David’s stunt motorbike resides in the National Museum of Wales in Cardiff.
13. St David’s favourite food was Chicken Jalfrezi.
14. He had three brothers and three sisters, all called David.
15. I can’t think of any more.