The Severn Bridge toll booths are to be converted into drive-thru chip shops.
The new booths will serve up everything you’d expect from a regular chip shop, apart from those crappy pickled eggs that make you fart evil farts.
Severn Bridge manager Tina Longspan told WalesOnCraic:
“We’ve been taking money off the good people of Wales and its visitors for the last 21 years. We should have paid off all our loans by now so we thought we’d do something nice and turn those booths into drive-thru chippies. The process will stay the same – motorists will approach at over 300mph before queuing for several hours. Then it’s a case of deciding what you want to eat. Each lane will be serving different items so we’ll need to make sure that we have enough chips to go around. Our money bin lanes will still be in operation and you’ll get your chips handed to you there and then by our friendly staff.”
Motorists have been thrilled to hear the news, with one saying:
“I can’t wait. I’m a fat waster and I love eating chips. These new toll booths mean that I can drive home from Bristol after work every day and pick up my tea on the way home. I don’t even have to walk the 30ft to my usual chippie now. This is wonderful news.”