A reopened Penscynor Wildlife Park could ‘sustain an independent Wales’


Welsh nationalists have put forward an economic development plan for an independent Wales based on the reopening of Penscynor Wildlife Park.

The park closed its doors in 1998 because it was shit.

A Welsh nationalist person told WalesOnCraic:

“As you know, we are pushing for an independent Wales and one of the questions we get asked the most (apart from ‘Why don’t you just go away?’) is ‘How would a Welsh economy sustain itself? You may recall that many years ago, Wales had the world’s leading wildlife park in Penscynor. It was called Penscynor Wildlife Park and it drewed billions of people from all around the world. Unfortunately, it shut down in the late 90s because it was shit but should it reopen now, we’d know how to run it better. We’d bring back the Alpine Slide for starters and start charging people £3k a pop. We’d charge £4k for people to visit Monkey Island and the same if they want to go into the Reptile House. All proceeds would be pumped directly into the Welsh economy, thus sustaining the nation for years to come. What do you think?”

One critic said:

“The place was rubbish. My grandfather went there once and a toucan shat on his head as he was eating his ice-cream. Who’d want to go there?”

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