Welsh arses twitching ahead of Poland showdown

Arsesholes across Wales are twitching ahead of the crunch game against Poland tonight at Cardiff City Stadium.

The Welsh men’s football team could earn themselves a place at Euro 24, putting arseholes across the country into nervous spasms.

Football fan Danny Twosheds told WalesOnCraic:

“I can’t bear to watch. In fact, I might look to see if there are any episodes of Bangers and Cash that I haven’t watched. I remember us at the 2016 Euros- we were magnificent. The last one was a bit shit but if we can get through to the next one, my wife’s promised me that she’ll sit on my face and sing a bit of Bryan Adams to me. We used to do that when we first met and we haven’t done it for a long time so I’m hoping that the boys can pull it off tonight.”

Wales have earned their place to earn a place at the 2024 tournament by playing not bad. Like Poland, they have had some shit results, but have managed to turn things around.

One staff member told WalesOnCraic:

“We may be missing Chris Coleman’s chewing gum but we can prove that we can play well without it. We’ll do our best for ourselves and our country and if we don’t, well, I’ll probably go eat my shorts.”

Wales kick off their quest for Euro glory tonight at 7.45, halfway through Coronation Street.

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