Ireland claims sovereignty of Anglesey in Brexit row

Ireland has laid claim to the island of Anglesey following the triggering of Article 50.

Ireland says that it is legally entitled to Anglesey after a few of their people lived there once.

Irish spokesman Paddy ‘Stereotype’ McGinty said:

“It’s our island. We had a few people live in once and we need to defend their rights. In fact, Anglesey used to belong to us but it snapped off and floated away across the sea. We are prepared to go to war about this. We’re very angry that Wales has claimed this island as their own. If they want to start a fight with us, we’re here and ready. Just give us a time and place. So it is. To be sure etc.”

The Welsh Assembly’s Emergency War Cabinet convened at Pizza Hut late last night. A spokeswoman said:

“I created my own pizza because none of the products they had prepared doesn’t quite fit what I wanted. I had cheese with tomatoes, onions, chillies, pineapple and some mushrooms. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t a wise choice as it’s been fighting with my stomach all night and now I’m very tired. I have a very big day today as I’m having my feet done.”

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