Referee Wayne Barnes has signed to play the lead role in a remake of the 1984 movie The NeverEnding Story.
Hollywood producers were suitably impressed with Barnes’ ability to drag things out over an inordinate amount of time on live TV yesterday.
Jerry Steinschlinger from ShitRemakes said:
“We’ve been toying with the idea of remaking this film for many years now but we’ve never come across anyone who we thought would be up to the job. I just happened to be in Wales, which is in England yesterday. Everyone was watching this version of American football on steroids. They were there for hours. In the middle, we spotted this affable English chap who was having all kinds of crap thrown at him from all angles. As a punishment, he dragged the game out for another 4 hours which we were very impressed by. We found out who the chap was and gave him a call. He was down the studios first thing in the morning – something about keeping a low profile he said. But he signed on the dotted line and we look forward to working with him.”
A spokesman for Mr Barnes said that Mr Barnes was not available for comment, which is just as well as we never asked for one.
The NeverEnding Story is a 1984 fantasy adventure which officially never ends. One cinema in the US has been showing it since 1985.