Jobs boost as councils seek road workers to stand around looking at their phones

Wales has received a welcome jobs boost today as local councils have announced that they are seeking road workers to stand around looking at their phones.

The Welsh Assembly has told councils that they would like to subsidise a 50% increase in road worker ‘mannequins’.

A spokeswoman said:

“We felt that Wales needed more men stood around doing nothing. We’ve therefore diverted vital funds from vital projects to pay for men to stand around doing nothing. We’re going to pay lads over and above the minimum wage and we’ll also be supplying them with top of the range phones to look at. We’ll be sending them out to areas that are most deprived of men standing around doing nothing. Hopefully they’ll manage to cause some major traffic jams so that we can justify asking for more money from those bitches at Westminster.”

One newly-employed road worker said:

“My job’s lush innit? I just stands around all day looking at the other lads digging holes. This new initiative means that I’ll have something new to look at now.”

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