Trump’s planned visit to GCHQ switched to Abergavenny Donkey Sanctuary

President Trump’s planned visit to GCHQ later this year has been switched to Abergavenny Donkey Sanctuary.

It follows White House claims that the British Intelligence Services wiretapped him, something that GCHQ has dismissed as a load of hairy bollocks.

A spokesman said:

“If he thinks he’s bringing his fat orange face into our building, I’m afraid he’s got another thing coming. We’ve spoken to the organisers of his trip to the UK later this year and we’ve arranged for him to visit Abergavenny Donkey Sanctuary where he will be able to mingle with creatures of similar intelligence. He can’t go around making this kind of shit up without backing it up.”

The donkeys at the sanctuary were informed this morning of the rescheduling.

One donkey said:

“FFS. Can’t we just be left alone in peace?”

GCHQ is the UK Government Communications Headquarters, which is the centre for Her Majesty’s Government’s Signal Intelligence. Sounds posh doesn’t it?

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