Theresa May lands lead role in new Titanic movie

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Prime Minister Theresa May has landed herself the lead role in a new Titanic movie.

Producers were reportedly impressed by the PM’s ability to rearrange the furniture on a sinking ship.

Clive TwoPorches of Shit Films Ltd told WalesOnCraic:

“We have been in discussion with Downing Street following Theresa May’s outstanding performance in the recent shitfest that was more commonly known as the General Election. We were particularly impressed by her ability to reshuffle her cabinet, even as her ship was going down. We were so impressed that we’ve written her into the new movie and given her the lead part. She’ll star opposite Leonardo or possibly Barry Chuckle – we’re just working on the contracts.”

A spokesman for Downing Street said:

“We can confirm that we have been approached by a film company. We are however committed to leading our country into oblivion before we commit to any Hollywood movies.”