Welsh nationalists want ban on English mustard

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Welsh nationalist group Wales First have called for a ban on English mustard.

The group said it wants to protect Welsh interests and put Wales First.

Group Leader ‘Genghis Siân’ ap Iolo told WalesOnCraic:

“Wandering around Kwik Save earlier today, we were dismayed to see that the store had gone back to stocking ENGLISH mustard. That’s right. English. Needless to say, we bought the entire lot to stop the jars falling into the wrong hands and we’ll continue to keep on buying them until they get sick of us buying them all the time. Us Welsh don’t need that foreign muck – we’re very happy with our seaweed and cawl thank you very much.”

Wales First was created to stop Wales becoming influenced by foreign ways of life.

““We want an independent Wales but we all know that we’ve got jack shit to fund it with. What we want is to tax all foreigners living abroad to fund a Welsh economy. That way, we can continue to have Pobol y Cwm on the telly in case we decide to watch it.”

But critics have pointed out that their English mustard ban is unworkable.

Nerys Gullet from Bargoed said:

“The woman’s mental. She thinks that she’s that Scottish woman – the one who looks like Jimmy Krankie. There’s no way I’m going to vote for her.”

But Genghis Siân was quick to respond, saying:

“Where does this bint live? I’m going to stick some flaming rags through her letterbox. People like her are scum. If I ever meet her in Kwik Save, I’m going to poke her in the eye with a big stick.”