President Trump will take in a visit to the capital’s Fantasy Lounge as part of his UK tour.
Trump will visit the Cardiff club on Tuesday night, after having a few jars in Kiwis.
A spokesman for the White House told WalesOnCraic:
“President Trump likes his woman and he likes nothing more than a bare fat arse in his face. We’re planning on warming him up with a few bevvies in Kiwis before moving on to the Fantasy Lounge later in the evening. We’ll give him a bit of pocket money to see him through the night and we’ll probably pick him up about 10pm. He does like to get to bed early so he can have a few burgers and watch some telly. We’ll be staying in the local Travelodge but we have been warned not to take any girls back this time.”
Trump lands in the UK on Monday and will be out filming his 2020 election promos with the Royals. The Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, has told Trump to go suck a bag of dicks on his visit.