Theresa May ‘considering bar work at Wetherspoons’

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Embattled Prime Minister Theresa May is said to be considering bar work at a Welsh Wetherspoons.

Aides told WalesOnCraic said that she’s considering a part-time bar job in the Dic Penderyn in Merthyr.

May exclusively told WalesOnCraic:

“I’ve had an absolute gutsful. I go and do my speech and no-one gives a shit that I’ve got a bardy throat. I make one decision and everyone kicks off. I reverse that decision and everyone kicks off. I’m surrounded by absolute turds left, right and centre. I don’t get paid enough for this rubbish. I don’t know why I took the job in the first place. I was up in Merthyr the other day and saw a poster they had in the window that they were hiring bar staff. I’ve asked my PA to forward my CV to them. I want a job where I’m surrounded by less shitheads than I currently am. I want a job that I can leave behind when I go home. I’m fed up of being on the news.”

Punters at the Dic Penderyn welcomed Mrs May’s application.

“She’d be good I think. She’d probably shaft us all over by skimming off some of our change for herself but that’s fair enough cos I used to do that when I worked in a pub,” said one pisshead.