Supermarkets recall burger products after fears that they may contain real meat

Supermarkets across Wales have recalled dozens of burger products that could contain actual meat.

Products that have been recalled include Mrs Goggins’ Arsehole Burgers, Green Valley Eyeball Burgers and Fat Boy Double ‘Gristle N’ Cyst’ Burgers.

A spokesman for the burger industry said:

“We’re not usually fussy about what goes into our burgers but we’ve put out an urgent call on these as we can’t afford to go putting real meat in them. We’d rather get away with selling the bits of dead animal that no one thought we could make money from. We urge anyone who has bought any of the affected products to take them back to the supermarket where they bought them from. Should they already be semi-digested, please bring those in too as we can reuse those in some of our other products.”

One burger eater said that he felt funny after eating on of Mrs Goggin’s Arsehole Burgers:

“There was a strong taste of antibiotics and hormones and you don’t normally get those in an arsehole burger. I’ve gone to the hospital just to make sure that I’m ok.”

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