The Queen is planning to pull a sickie when President Trump visits next month.
Sources close to the Palace say that she’s going to say that she’s got the screaming shits to avoid having to spend time with Mr Trump.
A spokesman told WalesOnCraic:
“The Queen has been very busy opening fetes and leisure centres these last few weeks and the last thing that one wants is to sit through banquets with the insufferable Mr Trump. Ma’am has already started sowing the seeds of her sickie by complaining of tummy cramps and one will escalate these during the next few days so that when the Supreme Leader arrives in the UK, she’ll be complaining of having the screaming abdabs. She’ll be hoping to sit in and watch Loose Women for most of the day while Trump is here.”
A spokeswoman for the White House said:
“Did you see the size of the crowds at Trump’s inauguration? Jeez? I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people. There were literally like billions of people there. Period.”