Number of nobhead drivers at all-time December high

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The amount of nobhead drivers in Wales has reached record levels since the start of the month.

The figures coincide with the high statistics of nobhead shoppers who are rude to retail staff.

Danny Dimwit, who heads the National Statistical Board, told WalesOnCraic:

“We often see dickhead drivers over the Christmas period but this year has been a vintage year for them. We’ve got people driving on their phones, people driving up other people’s arses – we’ve seen the whole spectrum of nobhead drivers in the space of about three weeks. The only way to defend yourselves against this kind of moron is to try and ignore them, or better still, run them off the road into a deep ravine – that’s a joke by the way. Wales has an abundance of nobheads who all seem to make an appearance together. It’s like as if they get in touch with each other and all decide secretly that they’re all going to have a day out.”

Drivers have joined shoppers who have been officially classified as nobheads this month. One retail worker said:

“I just want to punch each and every one of them in the face.”