New opencast Marmite mine to open in Welsh valleys

Mining is due to return to the Welsh valleys following the announcement that a new Marmite mine it to open in Rhymney.

The news follows a discovery of a billion barrels of Marmite under the Welsh mountains.

A spokeswoman for Marmite told WalesOnCraic:

“Our announcement today comes after years of discussion with the local community about how we can best mine this incredible discovery. We’ve looked at all the options on the table and are happy to announce that we will be opening an opencast Marmite mine in 2018. Following similar mines opening in Scotland last year, we will be putting in place extra security measures to stop people coming along and licking the rocks. The Marmite will be bottled at source and we expect the new mine to provide about 3 jobs for the area – one fella on a digger, the other putting it in bottles and another shooing away the seagulls.”

A local resident said that they would welcome the mine:

“We’ve had naff all around here for the last 50 years so it’ll be nice to tear up the mountains again. I’m hoping that we might be able to nick a few jars for my own cupboard too. I loves the stuff.”

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