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A dry but dull start to the day. Heavy, persistent rain will rumble slowly across mid and northern parts but the south will mainly miss out, staying nice and dry. Maximum temperature 18°C. Down on the farm, Farmer Honey's put his back out trying to get his leg over. Mrs Honey said that he attempted...
A dead bird has been found among a batch of supermarket chickens. Staff at Kwik Mart in Pwllheli spotted the dead bird in a crate full of chicken and called the RSPCA. Store manager Debbie Bifold told WalesOnCraic: "I don't know how it got in there. I'd asked...
A mixed bag for Monday with cloud, sunny spells and a few showers all making an appearance. The showers will mainly be confined to the north and east but most areas should stay dry. Down on the farm, Farmer Honey has attempted to recreate a local Wetherspoons at home. He's filled a few pints...
super-spreader-saturday
Pissheads across England are gearing up to help accelerate Boris Johnson's planned herd immunity policy and celebrate Super Spreader Saturday. Lager louts and angry gammons from across the land have been drinking in pubs across England since 6am this morning. A spokesman for Westminster told WalesOnCraic: "We are relying on the good old English public to do the job that we couldn't...
A woman from Cardiff is on the run after visiting a hairdresser at her local home. Charlotte Silkythighs is being sought by Interpol after sneaking into the house of Betty Beefcake to get her roots done. A spokesman for Interpol told WalesOnCraic: "The police in the local area were first informed about this crime after one of the hairdresser's neighbours spotted a...
brecon-beach
The Welsh government has announced that it is to fully open the beaches at Brecon, Llandovery and Builth Wells. The Senedd said that English tourists would be more than welcome to visit the beaches at the three towns, which open next week. A spokeswoman told WalesOnCraic: "We've been under huge pressure from our English cousins over the border to open our beaches...
airwolf
TV's famous Airwolf helicopter is to patrol Welsh beaches in order to take out illegal beach-goers. The Senedd has hired the hi-tech military helicopter to strafe beaches that are populated with covidiots. A spokesman for the Senedd told WalesOnCraic: "We've got a few arseholes down on our beaches and we're not having it so we've hired Airwolf to take them out. Sadly...
Wales is set to reopen the Severn Bridge tolls to English holidaymakers from 6th July. The Welsh Government has said that the Severn Bridge tolls will be reopening just to piss the English off. A spokeswoman from the Senedd told WalesOnCraic: "We've been biding our time, waiting to get some retribution for all the arseholes who came here when we were locked...
Former MEP Nigel Farage is to start a new career in fruit-picking after quitting radio channel LBC. Farage has said that his new job will give him more time to spend alone with his racism and self-importance. A spokeswoman for Farage told WalesOnCraic: "Nigel was bitterly upset that his contract at LBC was not renewed. He was hoping to spend the summer...
Schoolchildren in England have told WalesOnCraic that they're going to meet their mates at the local zoo. While schools remain closed, the only way that they are going to get to see their mates is at the local zoo. One child told WalesOnCraic: "I've not seen my mates for months on end. I've got no idea what Boris is up to but...