Thousands celebrate Valentine’s Day by buying folded bits of cardboard and rubbing their genitals together

Couples across Wales have been celebrating Valentine’s Day by buying folded bits of cardboard and rubbing their genitals together.

The annual ritual makes the individuals feel more loved than they would have if they didn’t have bits of cardboard bought for them.

One romantic male, Tony Hardon told WalesOnCraic:

“Last year, my missis told me that she wanted the moon on a stick for Valentine’s Day. I thought she was talking bollocks and it turned out that she was. So I went down to Kwik Save and bought her a folded bit of card that said the words ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ on it and she was happy with that. There was me worrying about getting the moon on a stick and all she wanted was a card. Later on, I’ll be taking her out for some food because she’s a greedy cow and is only happy when she’s eating. After that, we’re going to go home, get our genitals out and rub them together. She always says that she feels more loved when we do that so I guess it’s something I’ll have to do.”

Tony’s girlfriend, Betty Bumflaps added:

“I love it when Tony buys me a piece of cardboard with the words ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ on it. It makes me feel so loved. I’m looking forward to Tony rubbing his genitals all over my face later too. Nothing is as romantic as Tony rubbing his bits all over my face. That’s what I tell him anyway. To be honest, I’d rather be cleaning the oven but I let him think that he’s being romantic. I have some anti-bac wipes next to my bed and I always wash my face afterwards when he goes to the bathroom for a dump.”

Valentine’s Day is celebrated all over the world to celebrate the fact that people rub their genitals all over each other.

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