Welsh foxes have started an online petition to bring back the hunting of overweight posh people in a bid to control the vermin.
The foxes are pissed off that the new Tory government omitted the pledge in their new manifesto.
Freddie Fox, who lives in a hole in Tongwynlais told WalesOnCraic:
“It’s tradition round here that we chase fat posh people across the countryside until they’re too fucked to run any more. Then we corner them and rip the fat fuckers to pieces. These people are vermin and it’s our way of controlling their numbers. These people, with their spittle-splattered lips and their tweed jackets are a blight on our landscape. City people won’t understand but hopefully, this new petition will give us something to do instead of tipping up people’s bins and stuff.”
But the petition has drawn criticism from posh country people, who say that the ‘sport’ is barbaric and unnecessary.
Tarquin Smythe-Peacock said:
“The practice is horrific. Have you ever seen a fat posh person being ripped apart by foxes? There are pork pies and Pimms flying all over the place. It’s not for the squeamish. If people want a cull of fat, posh people, they should just shoot them in the head there and then. It’s unfair to watch them running across the countryside for their lives. And worst of all, who’s left to look after Tarquin Jr and Octavia?”