Gibraltar row: UK Government advised to invade Spain between 2pm and 4pm

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An amateur Welsh military strategist has advised the Government to invade Spain between the hours of 2pm and 4pm amid the ongoing row about Gibraltar.

Eric Nerd, who has spent thousands of hours playing Call of Duty, said that the Spanish are usually either asleep or tromboning each other between those hours.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“Theresa May came down to see me in Bridgend a few days ago as I knew she was seeking my military advice. We went to our local Wetherspoons for a breakfast and we spoke at length about how to solve the Gibraltar problem. My first suggestion was to nuke the place so that no-one could argue about it but she shot that idea down in flames. Looking back, it was a bit extreme. My second idea just came out of the blue. I remember going to Spain once on holiday and I remember popping out for a beer at 3pm, only to find everything shut. They were all saying that they’d gone out in their Fiestas or something but the problem was that I couldn’t get a beer. Turns out that they all stop working between 2pm and 4pm. Imagine if I did that in my job. Back in a 4, finish at 5 and home in front of the telly by half past.”

The Government has denied speaking to Mr Nerd. A spokesman said:

“We never make any comments about our national security, or about any quarterwits who think that they’re Napoleon. Thanks.”