Cyclists advised to avoid bike-related injuries by getting a car

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Cyclists across Wales have been given guidance on how to avoid cycling-related injuries.

The Bradley Wiggins wannabes have been told to get themselves a car to avoid hurting themselves on their bikes.

Grahaeme Smoothe of the Welsh Cycling Confederation of Wales told WalesOnCraic:

“Wherever we go, we’re given a hard time by motorists. They toot at us, run us off the road and shout all sorts of abuse at us. I think that they are actually jealous of how lovely our arses look in our Lycra. This latest piece of advice is a load of old bollocks as anyone with any sense would know. We all know that as soon as we get into the driver’s seat of a car, we’ll turn into arseholes and start tooting at the remaining cyclists. We’ll also run them off the road and shout abuse at them. This is a short-term solution to a long-term problem. I also caught my cardy on a car door the other week and that was quite painful.”

Motorist Jim Bellend said:

“Whenever I see a cyclist on the road, I always shout at them to get onto the pavement. Then when I’m walking on the pavement, I always shout at them to get back on the road.”