Wales is expected to be brought to its knees tomorrow as a light dusting of snow is expected across the country.
Milk and bread have sold out in supermarkets across the land and millions have already phoned into work saying that they won’t be able to leave their homes.
Welsh weather forecaster Derek the Weathersheep told WalesOnCraic:
“When we say shitloads, we mean just a light dusting but we know how much chaos that brings. Last year, we had half a centimetre in Brecon and all transport stopped in and out of the town. We are expected cold winds to pick up overnight and some hill down on lower ground too. If you haven’t got your milk and bread in by now, there’s a distinct possibility that you will starve to death over the next few days. With shops already sold out, I suggest that you go and steal some from your neighbour.”
Daily Express journalists have also been masturbating all day at the thought of snow.
“We’re looking ahead to this killer Snowmageddon,” said one Daily Express worker. After that, we’ll be resuming our usual mixture of Brexit and senior illnesses for our headlines.”
* a light dusting