Boris bans Putin from Peppa Pig World

2236

Hardline Prime Minister Boris Johnson has banned Vladimir Putin from entering Peppa Pig World.

The announcement comes amid a flurry of sanctions aimed at deterring Russia from invading Ukraine.

A spokesman for Johnson told WalesOnCraic:

“We want to make absolutely crystal clear that we are very serious about getting tough with Putin. At a COBRA meeting this morning, we drafted up a barrage of sanctions aimed at limiting Russia’s ability to do what they want.

“At the meeting, we decided to ban Putin and his cronies from entering one of the UK’s favourite tourist attractions – Peppa Pig World. We are also stopping them from visiting certain Primark stores and they also won’t be allowed to buy anything from Greggs. We feel that these sanctions are appropriate at this moment but we won’t hesitate from going further. We want Russian to be under no illusion – we are deadly serious about this.”

The world is poised on the brink of war after Mr Putin decided that Covid didn’t stress us all enough.