10 Things You Never Knew About Pontypridd

2060
Pontypridd

In ancient times, Pontypridd was considered the cradle of Western civilisation, being the birthplace of democracy, Western philosophy, Western literature, historiography, political science, major scientific and mathematical principles. Modern-day historians now consider this a load of hairy bollocks. But here are 10 things you probably didn’t know about Pontypridd.

  1. Pontypridd, literally translated, means ‘Ladies bicycle for sale. Needs new brake pads’. The town used to be called The Shithole By The River but was changed when people thought that it reflected the town in a disparaging light.
  2. During the Iron Age, town-dwellers would meet on Taff Street on a Monday morning to exchange irons. When steam irons were invented, the town-dwellers ditched their traditional Monday morning meet-ups and went to Argos instead.
  3. Seventeen miles of secret tunnels lie underneath the town. No one knows where they are because they are secret.
  4. New York’s famous statue, the Statue of Liberty, was built in a shed in Craigwen. It was stolen one night by some passing French people, who claimed it as their own but then gave it to the Americans to make themselves look half-decent.
  5. Pontypridd Market was called Pontypridd Market because it’s a market in Pontypridd. It was opened in 1845, originally to sell pink cowboy hats. These days, the market mostly sells onions and stuff.
  6. Hundreds of thousands of famous people hail from Pontypridd, including that blonde girl who was in Fresh Meat and Ian Watkins, convicted sex offender and former lead singer of Lostprophets.
  7. Pontypridd has its own rugby club called Pontypridd Rugby Club. One of its most famous players was Neil Jenkins, who went on to score more points in test rugby than all the other players in the world put together ever.
  8. Pontypridd used to have a bustling port but it was soon closed down after its creators realised that no ship could reach it. Some sailors did make a few trips up the Taff by rowboat but were soon sent packing by kids with catapults on the river banks.
  9. Pontypridd was pipped to scoop the City of Culture prize back in 1998, but was knocked off top spot by the sleepy town of Bedlinog.
  10. The town is famous for its giant lido, which caused confusion on its opening when hundreds of valleys women turned up, hoping to try out a giant dildo.