A £3bn survey by the Welsh Assembly has discovered a link between obesity and eating shit.
The survey discovered that the more shit you eat, the bigger you become.
A spokesman for the Association of Large People in Wales said:
“Our work has taken 15 years to complete. We’ve been the breadth and the width of the country. We’ve asked at least 17 people what causes their obesity and in most cases, our respondents have told us that it’s because they are eating shit. We had one guy who ate fast food every day of his life and as a result, found out that he was allergic to vitamins and minerals. Our scientific studies have shown that the more shit people eat, the bigger they are going to become.”
One man who took part in the event said:
“I could have told you this years ago. But I find contentment in my food. Therefore, I’m a fat but happy bastard.”