Wales to close border to stop English ‘Exercise Zombie’ invasion

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Wales is to close its borders with England to stave off an English Exercise Zombie invasion.

Boris Johnson last night announced that those living in England can drive to their exercise destination of choice. Meanwhile, those living in Wales were told that they couldn’t.

A spokesman for Wales First, the nationalist street defence group, told WalesOnCraic:

“That effectively gives the green light to all those pesky English people that they can come to our wonderful country, park up and take their exercise. Meanwhile, we have to stay indoors and watch Cash in the Attic for the umpteenth time. We have asked the National Assembly to close all the borders with England, and they said that they’ll have a think about it. If they don’t, we will be deploying both of our members to man the border and to stop English people coming in for their exercise. Our country is NOT open for business.”

Johnson also told his English viewers that they had to stay alert to the virus. One English resident said:

“I was down the park and I saw this virus coming towards me. I jumped away and hid in a bush until it had gone. I was so glad that I was alert, otherwise, I’d have been toast.”