Unemployment in Wales has dropped by 2000% in the last week as thousands of Armchair Rugby Coaches have started working ahead of the Six Nations tournament.
South Wales has seen the sharpest rise in Armchair Rugby Coach employment, with local off licences and Bargain Booze stores feeling the immediate benefit.
Newly-appointed armchair coach Paul Fourbellies told WalesOnCraic:
“It’s a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. It was just taking that risk of stepping away from my normal job and going it ahead alone. What I’ve found is that a lot of other lads have done the same thing. My first shift starts tonight as Wales take on England. It will involve a lot of shouting at the telly and slagging off professional players who are putting their bodies on the line for us. If they’re crap, I’ll tell them. I’ll tell the telly anyway.”
Welsh Government Minister Sheila Smartsuit was pleased at the sharp downturn in unemployment figures.
“The Welsh Government is delighted to hear that thousands of men across Wales have decided to get off their arses and do something with their lives. Ironically, it will mean that they sit back down on their arses to do their jobs but the figures do make us look as if we know what we are doing with employment. Cheers boys.”