Stuart Lancaster to start new career as Zumba instructor in Barry

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Former England rugby coach Stuart Lancaster is to start a new career as a Zumba teacher in Barry.

The man who oversaw England’s early exit of their own World Cup is to start work on Monday after leaving his coaching post, according to Zumba coach Giles Smallballs.

Smallballs told WalesOnCraic:

“I can’t wait for Stewie to be joining us here at Coconuts Play Centre. He’ll be joining the likes of Jeremy Clarkson and Nick Clegg who take our pensioner classes on Wednesdays. He can tell us all about what it felt like losing to Wales again and whether Mike Brown has brushed up on his interview techniques in the last month. I’ve been on EBay and bought him some new pink leg warmers and I’ve also bought him a whistle that he can whistle if any of our pensioners fall asleep while they are doing their Zumba.”

A spokesperson for Stuart Lancaster said:

“That is load of hairy old bollocks. Completely. Tell Giles to go fuck himself.”