Middle-class girl sends homeless pensioner a telescope to ‘highlight how shit his life is’

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A middle-class girl has sent a homeless pensioner a telescope to highlight how shit his life is.

The story has been captured by department store John Lewis and shown on national TV. It shows the lonely old man sitting on his own on the moon.

The old man told WalesOnCraic:

“I’ve been sat on this fucking moon for 10 years now. I haven’t even got a telly so I can’t even catch up on Corrie. I’ve just got to sit here and do fuck all. Then, all of a sudden, I get this parcel land at my feet. And guess what it is – yeah – a fucking telescope from this posh brat so I can see the fact that she’s got a nice house, a nice family and lots of fucking Christmas presents. I’d send it back to her but we haven’t even got a Post Office up here.”

A John Lewis spokesperson said:

“We want you to buy loads of telescopes this year. They’re the in-thing. Come and buy some or we’ll keep on producing saccharine-sweet adverts. You have been warned.”

The store spent £1 million on the advert.