South Wales valleys ‘unaffected’ by vegetable rationing

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The South Wales valleys have announced that they have been unaffected by the national vegetable rationing.

Supermarket chains said that most shoppers in the valleys are unaware of what a vegetable is anyway.

Frank HighTrousers, manager of a local Kwik Save store told WalesOnCraic:

“We haven’t had fresh vegetables on sale here for years. We did have one man come in and ask for a lettuce once but I think he was from out of town. This latest move to ration fresh vegetables has had no effect on our store at all. We’re the country’s leading seller of Rustler burgers so I think we’re going to be ok.”

One shopper said:

“I went down to Cardiff once and I ordered a kebab. The man asked me if I wanted salad with it. I thought he was speaking foreign so I asked him what he was on about. He then showed me these leaves and asked if I wanted them in my kebab. I told him where to go and to just give me my kebab. It was like he was trying to poison me or something.”

Several vegetables have had to be rationed across the UK due to shitty weather in Spain where they are grown.