Mexican government hands out pole vaults to its 130 million citizens

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The Mexican government has pledged millions of pesos to build Pole Vaulting academies across the country – and has handed everyone a brand new pole vault to get them started.

The government is keen to improve the nation’s pole vaulting skills in case they fancy nipping into the US to annoy the US President.

A government spokesman told WalesOnCraic:

“We’ve never really considered our pole vaulting prowess up until a few months ago. It was then that we realised what a bonus it would be if everyone had some basic training. We ordered 130 million pole vaults off Amazon and we are now in the process of handing them out to everyone. In the meantime, we’re investing millions of pesos into building some Pole Vaulting Academies across the country. We want to be the best pole vaulters in the world and we believe that should anyone want to pop over the proposed wall just to piss Trump off, that our government should provide that.”

One resident said:

“I got my pole vault delivered yesterday. They posted it through my door and when I got home, one end was sticking out out the front letter box and the other end was out my back door. I’m looking forward to starting my training and as I live near the border, it means that I’ll be able to pop over into the US, do a little dance and then head back home to watch telly.”