Queen rounds off 90th all-dayer with a kebab and a punch-up down Chippy Lane

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HRH Queen Elizabeth has rounded off her 90th birthday celebrations by necking a kebab and getting involved in a dust-up at Cardiff’s Chippy Lane.

The sovereign has spend the day visiting pubs and clubs around the city.

Her butler, Sir Tarquin WonderGunt told WalesOnCraic:

“She’s had a bit of a skinful to be truthful, sir. She started her Mike Rayer (all-dayer) early at about 0900 hours and squaffed several bottles of champers before she even got to Mill Lane. After several pints, she got into a fight at Revs because someone tried to nick her crown. We led her onto The Goat Major but she kept saying how the toilets always seemed to stink of piss in there and that she wanted to go to Wow Bar to ‘neck a girl’. We had to tell her that it wasn’t open so she spent the rest of the day propping up the bar in Lab 22. We took her to Chippy Lane to get her some food but she kicked orf in Dorothy’s and we had to get her a cab home.”

One eye-witness said:

“I’ve seen some old biddies on the pop before but nothing like this. She was drinking like there was no tomorrow.”