The Queen is to celebrate her 91st birthday by getting shit-faced and watching YouTube videos till 4am.
One has ordered in four bottles of Blue Nun and told Philip to fawk off out for the night.
A spokesman for Buckingham Palace told WalesOnCraic:
“One was planning on having a quiet one but decided to get some Blue Nun at the last minute. She’s ordered Prince Philip to head down to the local tonight so that she can stay up late watching YouTube videos. From recent experience, one likes to start the evening watching some re-runs of Ascot but as the night goes on, you’ll find one headbanging to Def Leppard and Europe. We’ve got everything prepared for the morning – Alka Seltzer, strong coffee and a sick bucket. One does tend to overdo these birthday celebrations.”
HRH also celebrated last year’s birthday alone, apart from a 50 Shades of Gray DVD, a bottle of gin and some new batteries. She is celebrating her 91st birthday this year because she was born 91 year ago. She’s also planning on getting shit-faced at her official birthday celebrations at the Trooping of the Colour later this year.