Election 2017

Labour will make every day Christmas if elected

Labour have announced that they will make every day Christmas if they are elected to power in June’s election.

The announcement comes hot on the heels of their latest pledge to give people four more Bank Holidays in a year if elected.

A spokesman said:

“Everyone loves a bit of Christmas and in the words of the great Roy Wood, we all wish it could be Christmas every day. Shakin’ Stevens said something similar I believe, as did Mariah Carey. We are looking to appeal to fans of these great artists, and to all fans of Christmas with this new pledge. It would mean that all the shops would be closed every day, apart from the local Spar because they never seem to close. Everyone would have turkey for dinner every day and your rosy cheeks are gonna light my merry way. We’ll also be making an announcement in due course where we will be offering free Christmas trees to everyone who voted for us.”

Critics point out that it’s a shit idea.

“It’s a shit idea,” said the critic.

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