Production of miniature violins ramped up for Richard Branson

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The production of miniature violins has been ramped up in order to assist with Richard Branson’s plea for financial help.

The Government has ordered a two-fold rise in the production of the tiny fiddles which will be shipped on the billionaire’s private island in the Caribbean.

A spokesman for the Government told WalesOnCraic:

“We’ve had a request from Mr Branson for £500,000, which is quite a bit to be honest. He’s told us that VIrgin Atlantic will go under if he doesn’t get the money. He’s told us that he’ll cover the cost of the Paypal transfer fee, which I think is about £3.40. We’re considering it but we have to bear in mind that he’s worth about £4 billion himself, it is a bit rich. We have suggested that he starts working in Tesco to get a bit of extra income. They’ve got lots of vacancies at the moment. In the meantime, we’ve requested double the amount of miniature violins to send to him in the meantime. We believe that it should help him.”

Branson made his first million by selling crap at a London flea market.