Priti Patel congratulates Boris on the birth of his 300,034 974,000th child

Home Secretary Priti Patel has offered her congratulations to Boris Johnson on the birth of his 300,034 974,000th child.

Johnson is expected to take a few more weeks off work following two days back in Downing Street.

Priti Patel told the press:

“I’d like to offer my warmest congratulations to Boris and of course Carrie. He’ll be pleased to know that we are handling things perfectly here while he’s been off work. Shop-lifting has dropped significantly and we have managed to reduce commuting problems by almost 80%. We’d like Boris to put his feet up again and have another few weeks off work. I’m sure Carrie can help look after both the baby and of course, the new addition to the household.”

Boris and Carrie have given birth to a little boy. Bookies are offering odds for the new baby’s name, which includes Covid, Boris Jr and Kevin.

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