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Principality Stadium to tilt pitch 45° so England play uphill for entire game

Staff at the Principality Stadium are to tilt the pitch up to 45° in two weeks time so that the visiting English team have to play uphill for the entire match.

Staff discovered the secret button while cleaning the newly-installed pitch last week and will be using it in the crunch Six Nations game.

Head groundsman Gordon Mainwaring told WalesOnCraic:

“We had our reservations about this new pitch but when the contractors installed the pitch last a few years ago, they added a tilt feature so that they could clean underneath it. They’ve obviously forgotten to uninstall the feature so we’re going to be using it our advantage. We’ll be tilting the pitch up against the English for the first half and then the other way after half time.”

Fans have welcomed the move, especially since England will be arriving with their tails up.

Bryn Thundergut said:

“Oh aye there butt innit?”

Equally, English fans have been outraged to hear the news. Tarquin Smyth-Peacock said:

“One is outraged at such an outrage.”