Pontypridd Pensioner Launches New Range of ‘Plumsies’

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A Pontypridd pensioner has launched a new range of Plumsies to keep men’s bollocks warm in the cold weather.

Ethel Leathercrotch, 89, thought up the idea while sat on a bus stop with a male friend.

She told WalesonCraic:

“Me and Jim were off to bingo the other day when he turned to me and told me that he was freezing his bollocks off. I asked him what kind of underwear he had on and he told me that he had thin nylon kegs. I thought about his bollocks for a while and then the idea of a onesie for his meat and two veg came into my head. When I got home, I knat (past tense of knitted) him my first ever Plumsie. All the girls down the bingo wanted one for their fellas. And it took off from there. Next month, I open my first factory, which will employ 3,000 people in the Pontypridd area. I’m hoping to get noticed at the Pride of Britain Awards this year because the miserable bastards overlooked me last year.”

Ethel will be opening shops in London, Paris, New York and Treforest and hopes that her new brand will go global.

“My aim in life is that no more bollocks go cold. I want all lads to have happy, warm bollocks all the time.”