Petition started to change HSBC’s shitty telephone hold music

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A petition has been set up to get HSBC bank to change their shitty telephone hold music.

The music, that has been used since 1967, features an uplifting pop easy-listening combo group playing the same tune over and over again. The music is currently being listened to by millions of HSBC customers who can’t get access to the online banking.

Customer Gillian Pleb told WalesOnCraic:

“Now that their website’s gone tits up, I’m having to phone the daft bastards like I did back in 1921. I can’t believe they are still using the same shitty music that they were using the last time I phoned them. The music is on a loop and the tape’s been played so many times that it fades in an out. I’ve set up this petition to change this music so that millions of depressed HSBC users won’t have to listen to that dribble of shit any more. It traumatises me because it reminds me of every time I’ve applied for a loan and being kept on hold for 2 hours, only to be told to fuck off when they came back on the line.”

A HSBC spokesperson said:

“We love our hold music. Like our branches, we like to keep people waiting and keep them frustrated and stressed for as long as possible. We can’t pay for any new music because we are currently looking for ways to pay our bosses more bonuses and we’re also paying an accountant to find ways to avoid paying tax. Probably. I actually like the music. I listen to it every night in bed and even make love to it.”