Little Haven to become first fart-free beach in Wales

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After announcing the first No Smoking beach at Little Haven in Pembrokeshire, the County Council have now announced that they intend to also make it a No Farting beach in 2017.

A Freedom of Information request by WalesOnCraic to Pembrokeshire County Council has unearthed the news that will see Little Haven become the first no farting beach in the world.

Sniffer dogs and highly sensitive air monitoring equipment will be placed on the beach in various hidden places. Anyone who is found to have farted will be issued with a £60 on the spot fine as the Council don’t currently have the powers yet to shoot dead locals and tourists on the spot.

A spokeswoman for Pembrokeshire County Council, Sandra Thighrub, who wished to remain anonymous (and who can blame her!) said:

“Little Haven beach today became a no smoking beach and the results show that this has been an overwhelming success and this will be reported to Cabinet, next Monday.

“Since Pembrokeshire County Council twinned with a Council in North Korea, our Council Leader has been to visit North Korea and sees how well the country is run and the rules they have in place. The Leader is merely seeing Kim Jung Un’s highly successful policies being implemented in Pembrokeshire,” said Sandra.

“None of the Leader’s Cabinet have been taken out and executed yet” she added.

Cllr Errol Twatfeatures said:

“The Council is bonkers, but it will bring in much needed income as the Council is cash strapped, due to a poor grant settlement due to the Welsh Government hitting hard all non-Labour controlled Councils. So we are hoping that we catch First Minister Carwyn Jones, when he comes to launch the scheme. We wll ensure that the buffet he eats beforehand, includes plenty of foods that will make the First Minister fart on the beach and we can then hit him with an on the spot fine. Revenge is sweet…..unless its a foul smelling fart.”