Since its launch just a few weeks ago, demand has been rising for Dai Yadick’s Hinkley Mud Mask treatment.
Available from all good car-boots, market stalls and eBay, the patented Mud Mask has proved popular with celebrities, rugby players and many Valley Umpa Lumpas.
A top-secret combination of essential and non-essential heavy metals, coupled with a dash of non-specific radioactive nucleotides, and a splash of anaerobic poo bacteria ensure that the brand’s promise, ‘Your skin will never feel the same again’ holds true for everyone.
There’s no shortage of feedback on the product, exclusively made in a former car wash in Grangetown:
“My skin was visibly glowing after use,” said Wilma Poreshrink, of Penarth. “Within a few days, facial hair was a thing of the past,” reported an online product reviewer. Others have reported the product’s auxiliary benefits – “since using the product, I’ve completely lost my appetite. I’m shedding pounds like nobodies business. As soon as you apply it, you can feel it tingling, almost burning, it’s that bloody good.”
The production plant in Grangetown has had some teething problems, with an unexpectedly high staff turnover rate, and outbreaks of sickness, which Dai puts down to winter flu.
Dai hopes to be able to upscale production soon – and with the amount of mud being deposited just off Cardiff, there’s no shortage of raw material. As Dai said:
”I’m digging it out faster than their dumping it. It’s so easy to find as it glows in the dark – and if you get it whilst it’s still warm, the effects are even more dramatic”.