Corbyn offers free beer to all if elected

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Jeremy Corbyn has laid out plans to offer everyone in the country free beer if he gets elected.

In a speech in a car park today, he told both listeners that every UK resident would get a daily six-pack of beer if he becomes Prime Minister.

He said:

“We want everyone in the country to drown their sorrows of voting for me and to that end, we will offer everyone in the country a free, daily six-pack of beer. We won’t be able to offer people any high-quality beers as the country will likely be close to bankruptcy but we’ll sort something out. Maybe some Skol or something. Our country needs to get itself back on its feet and the only way that we can do that is to get people pissed. We will be paying for all this beer by raising tax levels to 80% and abolishing personal allowances. We think it’s a vote winner and we will be basing our entire manifesto around it.”

One Tory voter said:

“I’ll vote for free beer any day of the week. Where do I sign?”