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Calls to nationalise Greggs

Calls have been made to nationalise Greggs the bakers.

The company has become a national treasure, according to many fat wankers across the country.

Keith Lardarse, who heads the Greggs Appreciation Society told WalesOnCraic:

“Greggs has become a religion to many of us here in the UK. Some of us cannot cope without our daily ration of Greggs. My favourite are the sausage rolls. I’ve always been a fan of sausage rolls but there’s something warming and comforting about Greggs sausage rolls. Following that, I do like the corned beef pasties. The mixture of dead cow and mashed potato takes me back to my childhood. Then of course, you’ve got the wide range of cakes for afters. Since they’ve recently added coffee to their menu, there is absolutely no real need to eat anywhere else. We are calling for the government to take control of the company so that we can be sure that we will never lose it. We want to ensure its survival so that our children and our children’s children can feast on Greggs for generations to come.”

A spokesman for Greggs said:

“Not sure what you’re on about there mate to be honest. It’s the first we’ve heard of it. Think you might be talking bollocks.”

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