87% workers reported feeling ‘moist’ when setting Christmas Out Of Office email

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87% of workers across Wales reported feeling moist when the set their Christmas Out Of Office email.

The figure was higher in office workers who couldn’t wait to get out and get shit-faced.

Ben Dover, head of The Statistical Analysis of Statistics told WalesOnCraic:

“We asked a cross section of the population to report what they felt when they set the Out Of Office email. Many reported feelings of elation and happiness but the overriding feeling was one of moistness. It’s common at this time of year to feel moist, especially as we get so close to Christmas but this year has been a great year for moistness in general. One woman even reported that she felt overcome with moistness while one man in his late forties, also expressed what we call ‘extreme moistness’. This is where moistness levels reach such high readings, that the person in question is usually sent home from work.”

One worker who didn’t want to be identified as Tracy WideWedge of 32 Splay Gardens, Caerphilly CF83 1IA said:

“I thought I’d be able to handle it but as soon as I stared typing the words ‘I’ll be back in the office in the New Year, I just lost it.”