15 Things You Never Knew About Football

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With the FA Cup well underway, WalesOnCraic looks at some at some of the lesser known things about football

1. Football was invented in 1207 by Percy Football. The game was first played with a dead pig, but the leg injuries sustained by players kicking a dead pig around, meant that they had to take the pig’s bladder out and kick that round instead. It was very fun, especially if the pig had been out on the lager the night before.

2. In 1467, the first football team was formed. I forget what they were called now. It was a long time ago.

3. The first football pitches were in fact round. This caused many problems, especially when players were awarded corners. After playing on round pitches for over 100 years, someone quite important decided that they should be played on rectangular pitches. 50 years later, dead pigs were dropped in favour of the aforementioned pig’s bladders.

4. Football teams have varied in size throughout history. Some were big and some were small. And some were medium sized.

5. Eleven players now make up a football team.

6. Plus a manager, who by law has to chew chewing gum.

7. Football is always played on a Saturday, except for those games played on other days of the week.

8. Some famous people have gone on to play football. David Beckham was once famous for being the Milky Bar Kid and Pele, the most famous footballer in the world, took up the sport at the age of 49, after a successful singing career.

9. Many songs have been invented to honour the sport. In 1992, there was a song released. But it wasn’t very good.

10. Football players are now paid lots of money for not doing very much. They are means-tested: how much they are paid depends on several factors including how far they can spit, how far they can dive, how many times they can roll across the pitch when another player accidentally brushes their right arm, and how long they can lie on their back clutching their shin and their shin pad.

11. Football injuries are unfortunately commonplace. These include: slightly squiffed up hair style, broken false nails, mud on the shirt and of course, shinpad pain.

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12. The FA Cup Final will this year be played between two football teams.

13. FIFA, the governing body of football, are considering banning all games that result in a 0-0 draw. “They’re a complete waste of everybody’s time,” said a spokesperson.

14. The current World Cup holders are a football team.

15. Football is available to all people with a football.