Woman ‘moist’ at the thought of council dumps reopening

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A woman from Hirwaun has spoken openly about her ‘moistness’ at the thought of council dumps reopening in the next few weeks.

Natalie Treblebelly said that the news of refuse sites potentially opening gave her an uncontrollable throb-on.

Speaking exclusively to WalesOnCraic, she said:

“It’s something I’ve been thinking about since the lockdown was announced and I’m absolutely gagging to get down there and sling some of the shit I’ve accumulated over the last month and a half. I goes to bed every night thinking about it, and imagining what it’d be like. The thought of chucking stuff into skips has got me so moist that I have to change my underwear every few hours. When the man came on the telly and said that the dumps might be opening, I nearly fainted. I loves a good dump I do.”

Natalie has urged woman who feel the same to come forward and speak openly about their feelings.

“I’ve been keeping these feelings all to myself since the lockdown and it’s eaten me up from the inside. Speaking about it makes me feel a lot better and I cannot wait for the day I load up my Austin Allegro and head there.”