Westminster government to arrange piss up in a brewery

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Boris Johnson’s government has announced that it is organising a piss up in a brewery next week.

Ministers said that they liked a challenge and wanted to see if they could achieve new standards in shithousery.

Spokeswoman Tarquin Smythe-Peacock told WalesOnCraic:

“We’re going to organise a piss up in a brewery. To date, we’ve managed to achieve some pretty amazing cock-ups. Our latest balls ups are making headlines across the world so we thought we’d push ourselves even further and have therefore arranged to run a piss up in a brewery. We’ve got all the top bosses coming down to arrange it all – these guys are masters of bollocksing things up and we can’t wait to get stuck in. I’ve also bought some new shoes special I have.”

The news of the piss up follows news that the Government’s top adviser Dominic Cummings flouted lockdown rules.

“We’ve got no idea what we’re doing,” added the spokesman.