Welsh cars abandon third, fourth, and fifth gears


Welsh cars are to do away with gears above second in the new year as motorists get used to driving at 15mph.

Welsh cars will only come with first and second gears from 2024, plus a reverse gear to allow motorists to go back and pick up any shattered gearboxes that may have fallen from their vehicles.

Motorist Jimmy Twosheds told WalesOnCraic:

“I don’t even bother using anything higher than second gear. I tried going into third once but a passing cyclist shouted at me to slow the f*ck down. Second gear has therefore become my gear of choice. I can use it to drive slowly around the country and I have no need for anything higher. My wife and I were out on the main roads the other day and it was lovely to be overtaken by a pensioner on a zimmerframe. I was able to chat with them and hear all about their adventures down the bingo hall.”

Car manufacturers have just a few months to comply with the new guidelines.

Herbert Von Diesel, head of a German car manufacturer said:

“Vot the frig is zis all about? Vot is going on over there?”

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