Weak-Minded Husband Considers Putting Heating On

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A weak-minded South Wales husband is considering putting his heating on after temperatures dropped to minus figures overnight.

Dennis Limpback, from Tredegar, spent the night shivering under his duvet, but insisted that he is only considering putting the heating on at this point.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“In terms of putting it on, it’s definitely getting there. I was freezing in bed and the dog’s nipples looked like Wotsits. I’ll give it another couple of days or so.”

Meanwhile, his long-suffering wife Bridget has left and migrated south to a friend in Portsmouth, whose house has its heating on.

“I can’t spend the new year freezing my arse off with that tight-arse. I’ll be divorcing him in the new year.”