Wales To ‘Declare Independence While Cameron Farts Around In Scotland’: CLAIM

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Wales is set to declare independence from the United Kingdom while David Cameron and the other two main party leaders are up in Scotland shoring up ‘No’ votes, it has been claimed.

Welsh Nationalist Independent Friends of Wales Association’s Blodwyn ap Blodwyn made the announcement this evening, after closing a meeting with his friends down the pub.

“The three main leaders aren’t interested in us at all. We’ve waved flags and blown whistles down the local park and what do they do? That’s right – they fack off up to Scotland. They’re only after their oil so we’ve decided that we, as a nation, will declare independence from the United Kingdom while they’re up there farting around.”

But critics have pointed out that the nationalist plan is ill thought through.

“Blodwyn’s a bit of a dickhead to be honest…thinks he’s Owain Glyndŵr or something. I wouldn’t take any notice of him if I were you.”

But Blodwyn was adamant that Wales will declare independence.

“We’ve got it all sorted out. We’ve made a list of the things we’d like to keep, like the NHS, the BBC and the X Factor and I’ve sent them on to David [Cameron] in an email so he can pick them up when he gets back from Scotland. I’ve marked it as ‘Important’ so he doesn’t miss it.”

He added:

“Would you like to come and join us at our next meeting? We’re having a darts tournament next time.”